Why I Created The Hōlōs Journal

For most of my life, I rarely spoke openly about what I was navigating behind the scenes. I didn’t know how to put words to it. I didn’t know how to explain that everyday tasks that seemed effortless for others often felt impossible for me. Deeper than that, I didn’t understand what was happening and how deeply interconnected my symptoms were.

Several chronic health conditions, including vestibular migraine, ADHD, and autoimmune disease, have shaped nearly every part of my life. Though, despite struggling for as long as I can remember, these conditions weren’t medically diagnosed until well into adulthood. Each condition on its own is challenging, but together, they made it incredibly difficult to plan, focus, manage my days, maintain relationships, and simply function in a predictable way.

I can handle a bad headache, but my migraines aren’t just painful. They hijack my entire body and completely derail my day (or even my week) by unleashing a chaotic flood of symptoms: heavy fatigue, vertigo, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, poor digestion, chills, hot flashes, muscle spasms, intense neck tightness, sinus and ear pressure, and even my skin can become painfully sensitive to the lightest touch from the misfiring of nerves throughout my body. But among all those symptoms, experiencing severe light sensitivity, distorted vision, skull-crushing pain, brain fog, and total disorientation has most dramatically dictated how I showed up in the world. As digital screens, a primary trigger for my attacks, became increasingly unavoidable in modern life, these symptoms worsened with each decade of life, ultimately forcing me to rethink my relationship with technology.

The Breaking Point

About three years ago, my light sensitivity became unbearable. Just a single brief glance at a phone or computer screen could trigger a multi-day migraine attack. It became so debilitating that I had to disconnect from all screens for nearly two years.

It’s shocking to notice how often people casually pull out their phones to show a photo or video. I found myself having to warn friends and coworkers not to hold up their screens, even for a second. Beyond struggling with the overwhelming physical symptoms, this period of my life felt both embarrassing and isolating. I worried people assumed I was being overly sensitive and dramatic, or that I was just making it all up.

At the same time, my ADHD, which went undiagnosed until my 40s, added its own layer of chaos to my internal world. For decades, I blamed myself for not being able to just “be more organized” or “stay focused.” I didn’t understand that my brain was operating under completely different conditions than most other brains.

After my daughter was born, everything seemed to intensify. Hormonally, emotionally, and logistically, I felt like a wreck. The stress, the lack of sleep, the new responsibilities… they compounded the symptoms I was already fighting. Something had to change because I felt like I was hanging on by a thread. This didn’t fix everything, but I knew that looking at screens of any kind, at least at the time, was not an option. Enter, my digital-free era.

Life Without Screens

Without digital tools, I believed that keeping my life organized was nearly impossible, but only at first. As I worked through solutions, the unexpected gift in all of this was that I also didn’t have the option to escape, numb out, or dissociate with social media. I was left with myself, which I didn’t even realize I was avoiding. For the first time in a while, I was forced to confront my thoughts, even the scary ones, my feelings, my symptoms, my overwhelm, but also my hopes for a better life.

For the first time, I could truly see what wasn’t working.

I needed a different way to not only manage my life but also create a life that I was excited to live and one that didn’t depend on screens.

• I needed more structure. …Remember, ADHD was also lurking in the background. My moments of respite on the rare non-migraine days felt sacred. But everything around me still felt and looked chaotic. On top of the mounting piles of laundry, the constant pinging, notifications and visual distractions from technology made it difficult to focus. Important tasks, and more critically, the life I wanted to be living was slipping through the cracks.

• I needed better clarity. My life had completely changed, and I had not idea how I fit into it. Especially with limited functionality, my time was poorly managed because I lacked a clear vision or plan of where I was heading or what I wanted to be working toward. Between career stagnation and starting a family, I felt directionless and my life lacked meaningful purpose.

• I needed intentionality. Everything I did felt reactive. I felt like I had no control over anything in my life and instead I was being tossed around passively. I was no longer creating but just fighting to survive.

In a nut shell, I needed a system to provide just enough structure to allow me dream big, rebuild my health from the inside out, and create the life I wanted, all while staying organized, grounded, and present.

Where I Am Now

About two years ago, I finally found a treatment approach that brought meaningful relief from the severity of my vestibular migraines. While my symptoms aren’t gone entirely, I’m now able to use screens again. Just now, with more intentionally and with clearer boundaries.

What changed most wasn’t simply gaining access to digital tools again, but reshaping my relationship with them. I no longer feel dependent on screens to organize my life or manage my time. Now I have a system that supports me offline whenever I need more focus, rest, or mental clarity.

Although screens are no longer trigger my migraines as easily, I usually find myself choosing paper over pixels. This isn’t because I have to, but rather because it helps me stay far more grounded, present, and aligned with what’s meaningful to me. I stay more focused, and I create more. I love that the journal I created allows me to engage with technology when it serves me and step away when it doesn’t.

And as a bonus, switching to the Hōlōs method, helped me rein in my ADHD symptoms by providing quiet space with the perfect amount of gentle structure to channel my energy and focus toward what my brain does best, which is to create.

The Search That Led Me to Create My Own

Before developing the Hōlōs Journal, I searched everywhere for the right tools. I bought planner after planner, journal after journal. Some had beautiful layouts but lacked enough usable space. Others were either either too structed or too basic, and I’d stop using them after a few weeks. Some were too juvenile or visually overwhelming. Some lacked wellness, productivity, or other features I wanted. None had all the pieces and flexibility I was looking for.

What I dreamed of was a truly comprehensive paper-based and disc-bound system that supported the whole human, not just the urgent tasks.

I wanted:

• A calendar layout that could move fluidly from monthly to weekly to daily, in a way that made sense to me.

• A place for lists, reminders, school or work info, and repeating events.

• A wellness hub to track my specific habits, symptoms, routines, and progress

• Pages for yearly, monthly, and daily journaling and reflection

• Sections for financial clarity, planning, and mindful budgeting

• A dedicated space for projects, planning, and productivity tools

• A home for the myriad of thoughts, ideas, and tiny scattered bits of information I needed to capture

• And above all, I wanted a system I could rearrange, expand, or simplify at any time.

The disc-bound system was the obvious solution, but just grabbing any that were already available didn’t work for me. I disliked plastic discs, exposed spines, and the lack of an elegant, protective cover. Nothing on the market quite aligned with the vision in my head.

So I created it.

The Birth of The Hōlōs Journal

Hōlōs means whole. And this journal grew out of my desire to feel whole again.

I wanted to feel capable, grounded, organized, and exist with purpose. Instead of simply surviving each day, my goal was to actively participate and create.

What first began as a necessity for me, became a powerful tool that brought unexpected joy, presence, and intention back into my life.

The Hōlōs Journal is uniquely special because the multi-section, disc-bound ecosystem allows it to be fully customizable. It’s designed to support the exact multifaceted, beautifully complex human that you are. Whether you’re navigating overwhelm, seeking clarity, or striving to live more intentionally, Hōlōs meets you where you are and evolves with you.

I’m so incredibly proud of this and excited to share it with the world and hopefully bring more light and purpose to your life as well.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for investing in yourself.
And thank you for being part of this greater adventure that continues to unfold alongside yours and the rest of the growing Hōlōs community.